Taking into consideration their long marriage, it's difficult to think that if the couple has decided to split up or brake up that the relationship would have disappeared, specially if they have children.
Obviously,the fact that they got divorce it means that both of them have the right to rebuild their lives, and if any one does it, the ex couple must respect the new life of the other partner.
Nevertheless, we have to considered that everyone must have respect for their own new relationship and in this case i think that it's the main issue.
I'm not saying that the contact between your partner and his ex wife has to be cut off, because they have children and they will always have a bond, but she needs to let him go. She needs to understand that he has a new life and he must look after that, otherwise could lost it. However, the first person that has to be completely convinced of that is your man.
If he had made it clear since the beginning, you wouldn't have got in this situation. He has to clarify the situation with her and be decisive and consistent with that.
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