It's not unusual that a husband still keeps in touch with his former wife becuase they'd been living together for 22 years, they have feeling for each other, they have memories of their life, they have their own children so their connection with each other is hard to break. In spite of all these, I think that the behaviour of him shows that he's not ready for you and wants to start a new life with you as their relationship is too close now and his behaviours might indicate his wife that she still have a chance.
However, your husband may be not aware of this. He's still living in the past and helping his former life is just a habbit. In my opinion, the best solusion is to talk to your husband as well as his ex-wife.
To your husband, you should make it clear that his condition now (still lives in his past) is not what you expected and this makes you uncomfortable. You should express your concern that you don't know he can come out of the shadow of his ex-wife or not. You've sacrificed a lot to marry a man who had already have a 22-year marriage, I am sure that it was a tough decison and if you didn't really love him you won't marry him.I think you should let him know how much sacrifaction you'd made to marry him and how much you want a happy life with him.
To your husband ex-wife, you should told her that her frequent contact with your husband has a bad influence on your nomal life. You should warn her not to interrupt your life again.
Marlon: Mmmmm ... your advice sounds good in principle, but i am afraid it would set the scene for an ongoing conflict. Is it necessary to be so confrontational with the ex?
ReplyDeleteMarcos:
ReplyDeleteI think that is a good idea to talk with her husband and try to make him think about your feelings. But I would like to see the conversation between the wives, and the probably dramatic ending ;D.
Walter:I think if his girlfriend do what you advise her to do ,it can work and his ex-wife may have less contact with this man but the result may goes into the wrong way we weren't expected to be. Perhaps it will become a conflict between all of them three.
ReplyDeleteIsabel
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately relationships are not only about ourselves, it's not what I want, what I need.....it's about two, she doesn't have to be so selfish because probably that would be the end of the relationship. And about his ex-wife, the less she knows, the less she can hurt you.
Nora
DeleteI agree!